These days, competitive 40k is filled with players making Bold Claims about the meta: claiming they’ve “figured it out”, or “it will adjust”, or “that it’s incredibly bad and broken right now and losing to Ork/Admech flyers is utterly miserable.” But maybe these WHINERS just aren’t THINKING about the game CORRECTLY. Here at Goonhammer we take it as given that “any faction can compete,” but the real question is: “Which Faction is the best at not competing?”
Sure, any dunce can pick up Codex Drukhari and make a good list, but it takes real, incredible skill to make a list so abysmally bad that it will lose to absolutely everything, even when piloted by a skilled tournament player. Making a truly heinous list? One that still, on the surface, adheres to matched play standards while also being a nonfunctioning pile of garbage? That takes true talent. The lists here are full of incredible power, and while we were hesitant to unleash this innovative new tech, journalistic integrity and a disrespect for your personal safety forced our hand.
Welcome to the Blunderdome.
Note: The Blunderdome was conceived and the lists written prior to GW’s laudable intervention to improve the metagame with the Balance Dataslate. Some lists (cough the Drukhari one cough) may not quite fit at the new points costs, and some may have devastatingly powerful new interactions available (e.g. My Will Be Done on a Canoptek Reanimator).
WHAT IS THE BLUNDERDOME?
The Goonhammer competitive team put our massive, pan-dimensional brains together and asked the question, “what’s the worst list you could possibly build in competitive 40k?”, then decided to put together eight of the most dogshit lists we could think of in order to answer it.
Like most of our worst ideas, this started as idle chatter in the Goonhammer Discord server:
Once Scott suggested the idea of a Junkyards format event, things spiraled from there as lists were suggested, players signed on, concepts were tossed out, and ground rules were established. Those ground rules ended up being pretty important, as we forced each other to gaze in slack-jawed horror at Daemons lists running 2 units and 1850 points of summoning reserves.
In the end we settled on an 8-player bracket, where everyone would submit a list, and it would be randomly inflicted on someone else to vie for supremacy. Players would score points for winning with the list they’d been given, and for the list they built losing.
BUILDING THE LISTS
Our eight authors each had to create a list designed to be as bad as possible. However, as we started building lists we quickly realized that we’d need some rules:
- The list has to be matched-play and tournament-play legal
- Your list has to be a minimum of 1,990 points
- You can only include a maximum of one fortification
- You can only include a single faction and subfaction – this is in part to help players acclimate to the lists
- No Auxiliary Support detachments
- You must take a free Relic and Warlord trait, if possible
- You must take Psychic powers on units that can have them
- If you buy an additional upgrade or optional add-on, you have to use it – you can’t spend CP on nothing
- You can’t take Inspiring Leader as your Warlord Trait
- You can only draw faction units from a single book
- Guideline: Your army should be as bad as it can be while still being functional
Those are the hard requirements. The soft rules, which weren’t really requirements so much as the mark of a power-gaming tryhard if you weren’t brave enough to meet them, were that any list starting the game with non-zero CP or any Objective Secured models was the work of a coward.
After that, we made the eight armies you’ll see below. And let me tell you – we went to some dark places while we were making these. Allow me to share a few choice snippets, like this note from Innes Wilson on list evaluation for the format:
We quickly realized that most marines lists were, even at their weakest, far too good for this format. Some armies – particularly those with 9th edition codexes – straight up do not have any truly bad units to even take here. An army of T4 3+ goobers with bolters is actually pretty great in this format:
This inspired idea is what caused us to create the “1,990 point minimum” for lists.
You want to bring an all drones list – the Cadillac of knives – to this here knife fight? Oh, you poor stupid rube.
Scott Horras “Heresy” loved this challenge so much. I suspect he’d been waiting for something like this a long time.
Some armies had an easier time of this than others. But when you’re playing in the garbage, a whole new meta develops where units that can just be bodies on the table are incredibly powerful.
What comes next? Well, dear Reader, next comes the violence.
THE TOURNAMENT OF POWER ARC
One the lists are built, each list will be semi-randomly distributed to another player in the group. Then players will be seeded into an 8-player bracket and forced to duke it out for the title of Goblin King. Participants will score points based on the following rubric:
- Winning a game in the event: 3 points
- Your list losing a game in the event: 3 points
- You tie in the event: 1 point
- Your list ties in the event: 1 point
- Your list scores 0 points in a game: 1 point
- You win the whole event: 1 point
- Your list loses every game: 1 point
- Your list is voted worst by Patrons: 1 point
Additionally, we’ve tweaked the “Battle Ready” scoring. We aren’t giving anyone the bonus for being painted. Instead the 10 points are only granted if a player scores their full 90 on Primary and Secondary objectives. This is to unlock the most powerful score in Warhammer: losing 100 to 0.
THE LISTS
Greg: T’au Empire, 2000 points, 95PL, 0 CP
Stratagem: -3CP Emergency Dispensation (two extra relics)
Outrider Detachment
Sept: Bork’an
HQ 45 Cadre Fireblade, Warlord: Exemplar of the Mont’ka, Relic: Accelerated-Photon Grenades
FA 240 Tactical drones: 12 marker drones
FA 240 Tactical drones: 12 marker drones
FA 240 Tactical drones: 12 marker drones
Vanguard Detachment
Sept: Bork’an
HQ 45 Cadre Fireblade
EL 195 Crisis suits: 3 models, Counterfire Defense system/multi-tracker/target lock, 6 markerlight drones
EL 165 Crisis suits: 3 models, Counterfire Defense system/multi-tracker/target lock, 3 markerlight drones
EL 195 Crisis suits: 3 models, Counterfire Defense system/multi-tracker/target lock, 6 markerlight drones
Vanguard Detachment
Sept: Bork’an
HQ 45 Cadre Fireblade, Relic: Multi-Sensory Discouragement Array
EL 210 Crisis bodyguards: 3 models, Counterfire Defense system/multi-tracker/target lock, Prototype Weapons System: Cross-Linked Stabilizer Jets, 6 markerlight drones
EL 170 Crisis bodyguards: 3 models, Counterfire Defense system/multi-tracker/target lock, 2 markerlight drones
EL 210 Crisis bodyguards: 3 models, Counterfire Defense system/multi-tracker/target lock, 6 markerlight drones
++++
KEY “FEATURES”
Greg: I worry that even given the goals of this competition, I may have gone Too Far. T’au are usually a two-phase army, having no Psykers or psychic defense and no combat worth considering, but this list one-ups that and removes their premier phase for doing work, by simply not having shooting. It gets a movement phase, and that’s it. I also moved the attached drones around to maximize their vulnerability to Blast weapons.
It starts with 0 CP, and no ObSec models. You will be lucky to score 10 points all game on Primaries, and picking Secondaries is possibly worse. To The Last is all units of 12 1W/4T/4+Sv models (god bless the inexplicable markup on Tactical Drones). Forget about Retrieving any Octarius Data, because literally no models in the army can do that Activity. Grind Them Down is off the table due to how Drones are. There’s a lot of Manta-striking available here, so maybe Engage or Behind Enemy Lines would work out. None of the Warpcraft or Shadow Operations or Purge the Enemy secondaries are a good idea. Picking Secondaries against it, it only gives up 10 on Assassinate, but still manages to have enough wounds floating around to allow 13 on No Prisoners. I’m so sorry.
Shooting? 3 pulse rifles that hit on 2s already, buffed by [checks notes] 65 marker lights. Punching? AP0 WS5+, and there aren’t even free Shas’vre upgrades in the non-bodyguard squads. Your sept trait is slightly longer range on the markerlights. This is probably the worst thing I have ever done in my entire life.
Scott Horras “Heresy”: Astra Militarum, 2000 points, 95PL, 0 CP
+++ The Floor is Obsec (Warhammer 40,000 9th Edition) +++
++ Vanguard Detachment -3CP (Imperium – Astra Militarum) [69 PL, -6CP, 1,045pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
Regimental Doctrine: Regiment: Mordian
+ Stratagems +
Imperial Commander’s Armoury [-3CP]: 2 additional Heirloom of Conquest
+ HQ +
Lord Commissar [3 PL, 40pts]: Bolt pistol, Power sword, Relic: The Emperor’s Benediction, Warlord
+ Elites +
Commissar [2 PL, 25pts]: Bolt pistol
Commissar [2 PL, 25pts]: Bolt pistol
Commissar [2 PL, 25pts]: Bolt pistol
+ Heavy Support +
Leman Russ Battle Tanks [30 PL, 465pts]
. Leman Russ Vanquisher: Heavy Bolter
. Leman Russ Vanquisher: Heavy Bolter
. Leman Russ Vanquisher: Heavy Bolter
Leman Russ Battle Tanks [30 PL, 465pts]
. Leman Russ Vanquisher: Heavy Bolter
. Leman Russ Vanquisher: Heavy Bolter
. Leman Russ Vanquisher: Heavy Bolter
++ Spearhead Detachment -3CP (Imperium – Astra Militarum) [27 PL, 9CP, 520pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Battle Size [12CP]: 3. Strike Force (101-200 Total PL / 1001-2000 Points)
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
Regimental Doctrine: Regiment: Mordian
+ HQ +
Lord Commissar [3 PL, 40pts]: Bolt pistol, Power sword, Relic: The Blade of Conquest
+ Heavy Support +
Deathstrike [8 PL, 160pts]: Dozer blade, Full Payload, Heavy Flamer, Track guards
Deathstrike [8 PL, 160pts]: Dozer blade, Heavy Flamer, Track guards
Deathstrike [8 PL, 160pts]: Dozer blade, Heavy Flamer, Track guards
++ Vanguard Detachment -3CP (Imperium – Astra Militarum) [29 PL, -3CP, 425pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
+ HQ +
Lord Commissar [3 PL, 40pts]: Bolt pistol, Power sword, Relic: The Deathmask of Ollanius
+ Elites +
Officer of the Fleet [2 PL, 25pts]
Officer of the Fleet [2 PL, 25pts]
Officer of the Fleet [2 PL, 25pts]
+ Heavy Support +
Leman Russ Battle Tanks [20 PL, 310pts]
. Leman Russ Vanquisher: Heavy Bolter
. Leman Russ Vanquisher: Heavy Bolter
++ Total: [125 PL, 1,990pts] ++
KEY “FEATURES”
Scott: Honestly, this felt pretty natural for the Guard Codex. It’s frankly why I’ve been pushing to play this format for so long. I just need something for this Codex to excel at. Turns out, this book is pretty great at being terrible. Just look at that Mordian Regimental Tactic when you have a chance, gang.
As with Greg’s T’au build, this list also starts with a clean 0CP. Not to fear though, it’s been well spent to ensure your Officers of the Fleet, and Commissars don’t have to hang out in the same detachment. We also needed that second Vanguard to make absolutely sure we didn’t accidentally sneak some Obsec into this list by putting the Leman Russ Vanquishers in a Spearhead.
I was really on the fence as to whether or not the Vanquishers should be armed with Heavy Flamers, but I figured that I needed to ensure that I was pretty bad at killing anything that might have a shot at holding objectives. I also kicked around the idea of upgrading to Lascannons, but I really wasn’t interested in increasing the chances that the Vanquishers did anything by 50%. I figured that between all of the Vanquishers, I probably stand an unfortunately good chance of killing any vehicle that bothers to walk onto the board, but I figured I didn’t want to improve that matchup anymore than it already is.
Primary wise, this list packs in a cool 20 non-Obsec models that are going to have a really tough time killing… literally anything that looks remotely like an infantry squad so… good luck.
Secondaries wise, this list is… maybe alright given the format? Assasination should be well in reach of the other lists as I’ve packed this full of as many paper thin, do-nothing characters as I could muster. I unfortunately had to put some not completely useless relics on two of the Lord Commissars because I wanted to make sure nobody had any CP to muck about with. Big Game Hunter is obviously a valid pick here if you can kill tanks at all. The tough part is that I think this list is going to have a pretty easy time picking up To the Last, and possibly Raise the Banners. Board control secondaries should be pretty rough for this list because it’s so dang slow and it’s probably never going to hold onto objectives so I thought that was pretty good. I was focusing on making this list as bad as possible at playing the Primary mission, so hopefully that pans out.
Lastly: LOL Deathstrikes.
Greg: I genuinely don’t know what to make of this one. On the one hand, I worry that Scott maybe didn’t understand the assignment? 11 T7 and T8 hulls is basically a wall of unkillable armor in this format, and it can box armies completely off of multiple objectives, with enough cannons and missiles to individually put anti-tank shots on every single model in some of these lists. On the other hand, it still sucks really bad? Like, if you replaced the Vanquishers with Demolishers I think this is an honest-to-god 2-1 RTT threat, but as-is, even if he rolls nothing but sixes all day it might score 30 points in a good game.
Pros:
- Lots of tanks
- Up to 16 Vanquisher shots per turn
- Honest-to-God risk of actually ripping it with Deathstrikes like an absolute legend
- Lots of Infantry Characters for Raise the Banners
- Good To the Last targets
Cons:
- Holding a single contestable objective anywhere at any point
- Killing anything other than a Vehicle or Monster
- A decent chance that Deathstrikes literally never shoot
- Max points on Assassination and Bring it Down
- Slow
Innes Wilson: Tyranids, 1,993 Points, 98 PL, 0 CP
+++ If its not from the Hague region of the Netherlands its not a War Crime, its just sparkling murder (Warhammer 40,000 9th Edition) +++
++ Outrider Detachment -3CP (Tyranids) [31 PL, -3CP, 648pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
Hive Fleet: Hydra
+ HQ +
Neurothrope [5 PL, 95pts]: Power: Death Shriek
Tyranid Prime [5 PL, 75pts]: 2x Scything Talons, The Ymgarl Factor
+ Fast Attack +
Mucolid Spores [3 PL, 66pts]: 3x Mucolid Spore
Mucolid Spores [3 PL, 66pts]: 3x Mucolid Spore
Mucolid Spores [3 PL, 66pts]: 3x Mucolid Spore
+ Dedicated Transport +
Tyrannocyte [6 PL, 140pts]: 5x Venom Cannon
Tyrannocyte [6 PL, 140pts]: 5x Venom Cannon
++ Outrider Detachment -3CP (Tyranids) [29 PL, -3CP, 555pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
Hive Fleet: Hydra
+ HQ +
Tyranid Prime [5 PL, 80pts]: 2x Scything Talons, Toxin Sacs, Xenogenic Acid
+ Fast Attack +
Meiotic Spores [6 PL, 120pts]: 6x Meiotic Spore
Meiotic Spores [6 PL, 120pts]: 6x Meiotic Spore
Meiotic Spores [6 PL, 120pts]: 6x Meiotic Spore
+ Dedicated Transport +
Tyrannocyte [6 PL, 115pts]: 5x Barbed Strangler
++ Outrider Detachment -3CP (Tyranids) [38 PL, 6CP, 790pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Battle Size [12CP]: 3. Strike Force (101-200 Total PL / 1001-2000 Points)
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
Hive Fleet: Hydra
+ Stratagems +
Bounty of the Hive Fleet [-3CP]: 2 Extra Bio-artefacts
+ HQ +
Neurothrope [5 PL, 95pts]: Power: Death Shriek
Tyranid Prime [5 PL, 75pts]: 2x Scything Talons, The Norn Crown, Warlord, Warlord Trait: Alien Cunning
+ Elites +
Deathleaper [4 PL, 65pts]
The Red Terror [3 PL, 55pts]
+ Fast Attack +
Spore Mines [3 PL, 90pts]: 9x Spore Mine
Spore Mines [3 PL, 90pts]: 9x Spore Mine
Spore Mines [3 PL, 90pts]: 9x Spore Mine
+ Dedicated Transport +
Tyrannocyte [6 PL, 115pts]: 5x Barbed Strangler
Tyrannocyte [6 PL, 115pts]: 5x Barbed Strangler
++ Total: [98 PL, 1,993pts] ++
Key “Features”
I had originally left this list to speak for itself, but as one might see from the Neurothropes powers, all it has is its own Death Shriek. And so I am left to speak on behalf of my creation.
Hive Fleet Hydra provides Tyranids with the ability to reroll all hits when they outnumber their opponent. As such we run no multi model units with attacks. We run no infantry units without the character keyword in order to constrain the scoring, and we provide shooting in the form of BS5 models with the defensive profile of a particularly sad Death Hex’d raider (Tyrannocytes).
You might hope to find solace in the offensive power of the Red Terror (5 S4 Ap- 1d) or the Tyranid Prime (4 S5 Ap- 1d). No? At least they can raise banners. Some of them have relics. You can probably play without looking them up for all the good they’ll do you. The Neurothrope are a sole light in the darkness with their 3++ and smite, and they are mostly here to preserve the inability to Retrieve Octarius Data and the Tyrannocytes as To The Lasts.
To round it out we have the other 828 points of the list in the form of weapons that technically are a datasheet. With big we have the models so they must have rules energy, we can bring 3 seperate squads of Spores, who manage to provide a sum total of nothing offensively, or defensively. The best thing they can do is prevent reserves in tbe back field. They have no redeeming qualities, with no speed or defenses to speak of. Any weapon in the game is a threat to the humble spores, of which we have 54 at an average ppm of 15.3.
Furthermore, their only redeeming quality, the mortals that they can deal, can be avoided by charging them and standing more than 3″ from any models besides the ones you must, thus allowing only those ones to explode, allowing you to attack the rest.
May the Star Children favour whoever has to play 3 games of this, because if this was what showed up when your Genestealer Cult called them, you’d be sad too.
Greg: This is probably not the worst list, or the least pleasant one to play, but I have to hand it to Innes: something is terribly broken in his brain. 800 points of different types of spore mines is a standout innovation in the field of insanely awful concepts.
Pros:
- Lots of models that do mortal wounds
- Interesting chapter tactic that allows you to reroll hits if you outnumber your target
- Interesting deep strike options
- Cool Relics!
Cons:
- 828 Points of your army cannot score in any way
- Your to the lasts are drop pods
- Obsec? No
- CP? No
- Any multi model units that can make attacks to your chapter tactic? No
- 7 Characters for Assassinate
- Your to the Lasts are drop pods
James “One_Wing” Grover: Necrons, 1,990 Points, 99 PL, 0 CP
++ Super-Heavy Detachment -6CP (Necrons) [72 PL, 1,425pts, -6CP] ++
+ Configuration +
Detachment Command Cost [-6CP]
Dynasty Choice: Dynasty: Sautekh
+ Lord of War +
Gauss Pylon [24 PL, 475pts]: Gauss Annihilator, Teleportation Matrix, Tesla Arc
Gauss Pylon [24 PL, 475pts]: Gauss Annihilator, Teleportation Matrix, Tesla Arc
Gauss Pylon [24 PL, 475pts]: Gauss Annihilator, Teleportation Matrix, Tesla Arc
++ Vanguard Detachment -3CP (Necrons) [27 PL, 565pts, 6CP] ++
+ Configuration +
Battle Size [12CP]: 3. Strike Force (101-200 Total PL / 1001-2000 Points)
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
Dynasty Choice: Dynasty: Sautekh
+ HQ +
Catacomb Command Barge [9 PL, 185pts, -2CP]: Hand of the Phaeron, Hyperphase Sword, Relic (Sautekh): The Vanquisher’s Mask, Resurrection Orb, Tesla Cannon, Warlord, Warlord Trait (Codex 4): Thrall of the Silent King
Overlord [6 PL, 140pts, -1CP]: Rarefied Nobility, Resurrection Orb, Voidscythe, Warlord Trait (Codex 5): Implacable Conqueror (Aura)
+ Elites +
Canoptek Reanimator [4 PL, 80pts]: 2x Atomiser Beam, Reanimator’s Claws
Canoptek Reanimator [4 PL, 80pts]: 2x Atomiser Beam, Reanimator’s Claws
Canoptek Reanimator [4 PL, 80pts]: 2x Atomiser Beam, Reanimator’s Claws
++ Total: [99 PL, 1,990pts] ++
Key Features
Wings: This surprised me by being slightly harder than I expected, such that I’ve fallen back on a cheesy technicality for maximum badness – the Pylon may look like a fortification and be utterly unable to move like a fortification, but it’s a Lord of War and thus legal in threes. Whichever lucky winner gets this can enjoy nearly 3/4s of their army being stationary once on the table.
More conventional builds ran into the issue that, while the Necron codex is looking pretty bad these days, it is still a 9th Edition book, so everything has a purpose and something it’s kind of OK at – disastrous in this format. Badly loaded Transcendent C’tan and the fliers both looked like options, but the more I looked at them the more I was worried the list would be surprisingly functional.
The Pylons do give a decent chance of scoring To the Last, which isn’t ideal, but make up for it by creating a list that’s totally awful at scoring almost anything else. A smart opponent will do some quick maths on whether they can kill the Pylons, then if they can’t just throw all their resources into clearing out the other five units, bumping one of the Pylons in melee and winning on Primary. Reanimators and Resurrection Orbs are the books’ best way to just straight up throw points onto a bonfire if you don’t have compatible units, and by themselves the characters are no great shakes. I initially wondered about taking two CCBs so Banners was completely off the table, but ended up sticking with one CCB and an Overlord, as I was worried two boats might put Code of Combat on the table too reliably. I am mildly concerned that against armies that literally can’t kill anything Ancient Machineries will prove quite strong, but there’s not much more I can do about that, and I’m relying on good counterplay and target prioritisation to shut it down.
Robert “TheChirurgeon” Jones: Chaos Space Marines, 1,995 Points, 7 CP
+++ Crimson Slaughter Battalion Detachment (970 points, -3 CP) +++
Legion: Crimson Slaughter
HQ: Apostle w/Omen of Potency
HQ: Warpsmith
TP: Cultists x11 – 5 w/Autogun, 6 w/Autopistol + CCW
TP: Cultists x11 – 5 w/Autogun, 6 w/Autopistol + CCW
TP: Cultists x12 – 6 w/Autogun, 6 w/Autopistol + CCW
TP: Cultists x11 – 5 w/Autogun, 6 w/Autopistol + CCW
TP: Cultists x12 – 6 w/Autogun, 6 w/Autopistol + CCW
TP: Cultists x11 – 5 w/Autogun, 6 w/Autopistol + CCW
DT: Rhino
DT: Rhino
DT: Rhino
DT: Rhino
DT: Rhino
DT: Rhino
+++ Crimson Slaughter Patrol Detachment (540 points, 0 CP) +++
Legion: Crimson Slaughter
HQ: Apostle w/Omen of Potency, Warlord: Lord of Terror
TP: Cultists x15 w/Autogun – 7 w/Autogun, 8 w/Autopistol + CCW
TP: Cultists x15 w/Autogun – 7 w/Autogun, 8 w/Autopistol + CCW
TP: Cultists x14 w/Autogun – 7 w/Autogun, 7 w/Autopistol + CCW
DT: Rhino
DT: Rhino
DT: Rhino
+++ Crimson Slaughter Patrol Detachment (485 points, -2 CP) +++
Legion: Crimson Slaughter
HQ: Apostle w/Omen of Potency
TP: Cultists x11 – 5 w/Autogun, 6 w/Autopistol + CCW
TP: Cultists x11 – 5 w/Autogun, 6 w/Autopistol + CCW
TP: Cultists x11 – 5 w/Autogun, 6 w/Autopistol + CCW
DT: Rhino
DT: Rhino
DT: Rhino
+++ 1,995 points +++
Key “Features”
Let me tell you, Dear Reader, that it was actually incredibly difficult to make an all-time bad Chaos Marines list. I mean did you see Innes’ list? My first pass at this I was looking at Land Raiders and then Innes pointed out that I’d be scoring an easy 15 points for To the Last every game off those. See, while the Chaos Marine book isn’t super competitive or full of great units, it also doesn’t have many true stinkers, either. Many of the book’s “worst” units are still perfectly playable, and a list of one hundred marines with lightning claws will straight tear up any of these other lists. On top of that, CSM don’t have a ton of pregame stratagems to blow CP on, so it was very difficult to create a list that didn’t start with 7+ CP.
In the end I settled on going with the lowest-powered units I could. Lots of Rhinos to give up Grind them Down points and many Cultist squads that were too large to actually ride in them. Oh, and you want marks? Better pay some CP to Beseech the Chaos Gods. I’ve left lots of flexibility in there to get whatever mark you need.
For Legions, I didn’t want to have too many stratagem options and I definitely did not want to have access to Veterans of the Long War, so that meant I’d have to pick a Renegade Chapter. Of the options available, Crimson Slaughter had the least useful traits and stratagem, and didn’t force me to give anyone a mark. The Cultist squads have also been max-minned to have a bad mix of melee and shooting weapons, such that you can never get good efficiency with them.
Greg: This is probably the straight-up meanest one of the lot, in terms of actually playing it. The sheer number of models that need to act, the way it’s weak to almost every secondary. Absolute genius. My favorite part of this is that, unlike the T’au list where you just don’t bother firing 60+ markerlights, the shooting is actually something you want to roll for. It won’t do anything, but it might, so it ends up in the same place and takes way more work to get there. The extra twist of the knife is the mixing of weapons, forcing the player to track casualties and roll their shooting in separate pools. It’s a work of twisted genius, a true expert in Chaos list building. I hate it so much.
Pros:
- Lots of ObSec Units
- Lots of Infantry to do activities
- The Warpsmith has a meltagun
- Lots of fast transports
- Ld debuffs with the legion trait
Cons:
- You give up 14 points for No Prisoners with 145 Cultists, and likely more if you use Tide of Traitors to bring back a unit
- You give up 12 points for Bring it Down with Transports
- Only one of your guns has more than AP 0 and only 5 guns have more than S3
- You have a lot of T3 bodies who don’t get a legion trait
- All of your Infantry units are too large to ride in the transports
Liam “Corrode” Royle: Drukhari, 1,997 Points, 97 PL, 2 CP
++ Outrider Detachment -3CP (Aeldari – Drukhari) [16 PL, -3CP, 275pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
Obsession: Cult of the Red Grief: The Speed of The Kill
+ HQ +
Succubus [3 PL, 60pts]: 6 – Splintermind (Combat Drug), Hydra Gauntlets, Hyper-swift Reflexes, The Helm of Spite, Warlord
+ Elites +
Beastmaster [2 PL, 40pts]: 6 – Splintermind (Combat Drug), Agoniser
Beastmaster [2 PL, 40pts]: 6 – Splintermind (Combat Drug), Agoniser
+ Fast Attack +
Clawed Fiends [2 PL, 25pts]
. Clawed Fiend
Clawed Fiends [2 PL, 25pts]
. Clawed Fiend
Clawed Fiends [2 PL, 25pts]
. Clawed Fiend
Khymerae [1 PL, 20pts]
. 2x Khymerae: 2x Claws and talons
Khymerae [1 PL, 20pts]
. 2x Khymerae: 2x Claws and talons
Khymerae [1 PL, 20pts]
. 2x Khymerae: 2x Claws and talons
++ Spearhead Detachment -3CP (Aeldari – Drukhari) [88 PL, 8CP, 1,514pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Battle Size [12CP]: 3. Strike Force (101-200 Total PL / 1001-2000 Points)
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
Obsession: Kabal of the Flayed Skull: Slay From The Skies
+ No Force Org Slot +
Court of the Archon [10 PL, 152pts]
. Lhamean
. Lhamean
. Lhamean
. Lhamean
. Medusae
. Medusae
. Medusae
. Medusae
Court of the Archon [10 PL, 152pts]
. Lhamean
. Lhamean
. Lhamean
. Lhamean
. Medusae
. Medusae
. Medusae
. Medusae
+ HQ +
Archon [4 PL, -1CP, 65pts]: Overlord, Power sword, Soul Thirst, Splinter Pistol, Stratagem: Tolerated Ambition
Archon [4 PL, 65pts]: Overlord, Power sword, Splinter Pistol
+ Troops +
Kabalite Warriors [12 PL, 185pts]
. 18x Kabalite Warrior: 18x Splinter Rifle
. Kabalite warrior with Heavy Weapon: Dark Lance
. Sybarite: Blast Pistol, Power sword
Kabalite Warriors [12 PL, 185pts]
. 18x Kabalite Warrior: 18x Splinter Rifle
. Kabalite warrior with Heavy Weapon: Dark Lance
. Sybarite: Blast Pistol, Power sword
Kabalite Warriors [12 PL, 185pts]
. 18x Kabalite Warrior: 18x Splinter Rifle
. Kabalite warrior with Heavy Weapon: Dark Lance
. Sybarite: Blast Pistol, Power sword
+ Heavy Support +
Ravager [8 PL, 175pts]: Chain-snares, 3x Disintegrator cannon, Grisly Trophies, Phantasm Grenade Launcher, Shock Prow
Ravager [8 PL, 175pts]: Chain-snares, 3x Disintegrator cannon, Grisly Trophies, Phantasm Grenade Launcher, Shock Prow
Ravager [8 PL, 175pts]: Chain-snares, 3x Disintegrator cannon, Grisly Trophies, Phantasm Grenade Launcher, Shock Prow
++ Outrider Detachment -3CP (Aeldari – Drukhari) [11 PL, -3CP, 208pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
Obsession: Cult of the Red Grief: The Speed of The Kill
+ HQ +
Succubus [3 PL, 60pts]: 6 – Splintermind (Combat Drug)
. Splinter Pistol & Archite Glaive
+ Elites +
Beastmaster [2 PL, 40pts]: 6 – Splintermind (Combat Drug), Agoniser
+ Fast Attack +
Razorwing Flocks [2 PL, 36pts]
. 3x Razorwing flock: 3x Razor feathers
Razorwing Flocks [2 PL, 36pts]
. 3x Razorwing flock: 3x Razor feathers
Razorwing Flocks [2 PL, 36pts]
. 3x Razorwing flock: 3x Razor feathers
++ Total: [115 PL, 2CP, 1,997pts] ++
Key “Features”
Liam: Look, I tried, I really did. No Patrols or Battalions, so that I start on 0CP. No transports of any kind. The maximum number of units of Beasts at their minimum sizes so they probably just die if anything looks at them, two big Courts with just Lhamaeans and Medusae. But then you kind of start running out of genuinely bad units, and when you’re up against things like “Cultists and Rhinos they can’t fit in” or whatever the hell that horror show list from Innes is, even things that would be a bad idea start looking just fine. I originally wanted no Troops at all, but 20-model Kabalite squads with enough garbage in them to make them my To the Last targets seemed like the least good option available. It also gets me a bit closer to opening up a secondary people can actually score in the shape of No Prisoners, though even then we’re kind of on the edge there, plus now the list has three big blocks of Obsec stuff and a ton of capability to do actions and score Engage.
I should note that per the rules we agreed on I couldn’t pull stuff like putting all the Kabalites in a Wych Cult detachment so they got no trait at all, or breaking Power from Pain with a Ynnari character or something, nor did we have custom detachment traits, so this list could get substantially worse without those restrictions. As it is though, the Drukhari are likely to enter the Blunderdome and find themselves dazed, confused, but still comfortably able to beat most of this garbage at a canter.
Rob: This list is going undefeated. Book it.
Greg: We really should have learned our lesson after the One Box Challenge and not let Drukhari into the party this time, but alas. They’re going 3-0 and no one can stop them.
Pros:
- Three big blocks of ObSec
- Lots of Infantry to do activities
- There’s a Deny in here!
- All the Beast stuff is really fast thanks to being Red Grief
Cons:
- Your To the Last is a bunch of 8pt T3 4+ wounds
- Grind Them Down should be trivial to score by just picking off stuff like “lone Clawed Fiend” or “2 Khymerae”
- You get no starting CP, so enjoy getting to do one useful thing per turn
- … that’s pretty much it, I’m sorry
Mike Pestilens: Khorne Daemons, 12 CP
+++ Khorne Daemons Outrider Detachment +++
HQ: Skarbrand
HQ: Karanak
Elite: 12 Bloodcrushers (Icon, Instrument)
Elite: 12 Bloodcrushers (Icon, Instrument)
Fast Attack: 11 Flesh Hounds
Fast Attack: 11 Flesh Hounds
Fast Attack: 11 Flesh Hounds
Key “Features”
Mike: To make the worst list possible, I first started with the worst monofaction possible. Like with Chaos Space Marines, Chaos Daemons don’t have a lot of ways to spend CP pre-game. Or rather, they do, but those methods are all also pretty good things you’d want to spend CP on, such as Banner of Blood, so we aren’t spending that CP here. This list is more of a chore to play than outright terrible, owing to a lot of very large bases that may make it difficult to deploy. And while a player still can spend CP on things like Denizens of the Warp, each unit of Bloodcrushers is 505 points, meaning that only one can be put into the warp per game.
Pros:
- Some good melee hitting power, maybe
- Several good targets (Skarbrand, max blocks of Bloodcrushers) for the Khorne fight twice stratagem… if they ever reach combat
- Some of these units are pretty fast
Cons:
- No infantry
- No ranged attacks
- 11 potential points for No Prisoners
- Lots of large bases to deploy
- Each unit of Bloodcrushers costs 505 points, so you can’t put both into Deep Strike
Chase “Gunum” Garber: Dark Angels
++ Fortification Network -1CP (Imperium – Adeptus Astartes – Dark Angels) [24 PL, -1CP, 440pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Chapter Selector: Dark Angels
Detachment Command Cost [-1CP]
+ Fortification +
Fortress of Redemption [24 PL, 440pts]
++ Vanguard Detachment -3CP (Imperium – Adeptus Astartes – Dark Angels) [43 PL, 9CP, 775pts] ++
+ Configuration +
Chapter Selector: Dark Angels
Battle Size [12CP]: 3. Strike Force (101-200 Total PL / 1001-2000 Points)
Deathwing Vanguard Detachment [3CP]
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
+ Stratagems +
Stratagem: Marked for Command [-1CP]
Stratagem: Relics of the Chapter [-2CP]: 2x Number of Extra Relics
+ HQ +
Captain [6 PL, 105pts]: 4. Stubborn Tenacity, Astartes Chainsword, Master-crafted boltgun, Purgatorus, Rites of Initiation, Warlord
Interrogator-Chaplain [5 PL, 85pts]: Bolt pistol, Litany of Hate
+ Elites +
Bladeguard Ancient [5 PL, 85pts]
Deathwing Ancient [5 PL, 105pts]
. Powerfist and Storm Bolter
Deathwing Champion [4 PL, 80pts]
Ironclad Dreadnought [9 PL, 150pts]: Meltagun, Rites of Initiation, Seismic hammer, Dreadnought combat weapon w/Storm Bolter
Ravenwing Ancient [5 PL, 100pts]
. Black Knight Bike: Plasma Talon
Ravenwing Champion [4 PL, 70pts]
. Black Knight Bike: Plasma Talon
++ Outrider Detachment -3CP (Imperium – Adeptus Astartes – Dark Angels) [46 PL, -3CP, 769pts] ++
Chapter Selector: Dark Angels
Detachment Command Cost [-3CP]
+ HQ +
Captain [5 PL, 85pts]: Astartes Chainsword, Master-crafted boltgun
+ Elites +
Company Ancient [4 PL, 80pts]: Combi-flamer
Company Ancient [4 PL, 80pts]: Combi-flamer
+ Fast Attack +
Ravenwing Darkshroud [7 PL, 130pts]: Heavy bolter
Ravenwing Darkshroud [7 PL, 130pts]: Heavy bolter
Ravenwing Darkshroud [7 PL, 130pts]: Heavy bolter
+ Heavy Support +
Devastator Squad [12 PL, 144pts]
. 7x Devastator Marine: 7x Bolt pistol, 7x Boltgun, 7x Frag & Krak grenades
. Devastator Marine Sergeant: Bolt pistol, Boltgun
++ Total: [113 PL, 5CP, 1,994pts] ++
Key “Features”
Chase: I tried to do a different thing when I was making this bad list of mine. First off, I wanted to try and put in the most Dark Angel stuff I could, while at the same time not taking advantage of anything too broken. First off, I wanted to have a fortress of redemption, because it’s about the meanest thing that I could think of that also has a chance of not being deployed in the first place, which could start me 440 points down. Down, which is a big win in my book. Next, I wanted to make a Deathwing vanguard detachment, as well as a Ravenwing detachment, that hardly benefited from either one of those things. It also gave me a chance to waste points inducting some units into the Deathwing via rites of initiation, which I have never used before.
A keen-eyed reader may notice that this list has what I can only describe as an “Avengers-level number of characters,” as well as some stand-out units, such as an incredible ironclad dreadnought with no guns outside of a storm bolter. Does this list actually have some teeth to maybe win a game or 4? Maybe, especially in this format, but at the end of the day, there’s just a lot of very good units in the Space Marines book, and it’s very hard to intentionally make a terrible list while still fulfilling the requirements presented in this challenge. I’m very happy with the amount of characters I was able to bring – a nearly Max squad of Devastator Marines without a single heavy weapon between them also feels great. I got to plug in some Darkshrouds, as well as “some” ancients…basically I should be calling this list The Flagbearers.
Greg: Bless Chase, for bringing what I legitimately thought was a Hear Me Out list he’d take to an actual RTT. The really incredible part of this is the Fortress of Redemption, a model with a footprint so big it will absolutely never be deployable. If the building ever does show up, two of the three To The Last units can’t embark in it, and the lack of ObSec models means you can’t take Stubborn Defiance. I’m not sure what I expected, but this was exactly it.
Pros:
- Lots of Characters
- Lots of Flags
- A fort to hold all the Flags.
- I start with 5 CP like a jerk.
Cons:
- Maybe too good, because it’s still Dark Angels.
- To the Last is the Dev team, the Chonky Ironclad, and a darkshroud.
- Honestly, the list has a ton of bodies, but it’s a bunch of bodies who do essentially nothing.
NEXT TIME: THE BRACKET
That wraps up our first episode of BLUNDERDOME, but stay tuned NEXT TIME for the exciting LEAD-IN TO ROUND 1. We still have to figure out our seeding, and that means letting our patrons vote on which of these terrible affronts to the laws of god and man is the absolute worst of the worst. Check back on Monday for that. In the meantime, if you have any questions or feedback, drop us a note in the comments below or email us at contact@goonhammer.com.
