TheChirurgeon’s Road Through 2024, Part 31: WarZone Houston ’24

Welcome back, Dear Reader, to my ongoing blog of competitive and hobby progress for 2024. Last time around I was mainly focused on hobby progress with my Night Lords, plus some last-minute painting for my Thousand Sons. This time around I’ll recap my time at WarZone Houston.

As with last year, I was joined by Thomas “Goatboy” Reidy, who made the drive out from Austin and crashed at my house. Thomas and I have been good friends ever since we met at the Lone Star Open back in 2022, and he’s one of the nicest, sweetest people in the hobby. He’s friends with pretty much everyone, and one of the most chill players you’ll ever meet. He arrives Friday afternoon and we talk for a bit, then grab wings for dinner with Bryce while the missus is hanging out with her friends and because that’s what you do when you’re a dad in your forties and your wife is away – you eat garbage.

We skip the usual Friday night practice game and turn in relatively early.

The next morning it’s off to WarZone. It’s an easy drive – maybe thirty minutes from my house – and we stop to grab breakfast and some sandwich stuff. We’ve brought a cooler full of soda, chips, bread, and cheese, while Dan “Swiftblade” Richardson is bringing lunch meat, lettuce, and tomato. The goal is to just have a bunch of sandwiches at the venue because that’s way cheaper and healthier than venue food and there’s literally nothing close to the race track in terms of dining options.

It’s pretty quiet this year at WarZone – with the event sandwiched between two other majors (Champions Cup teams the weekend prior, especially), there’s only maybe 80 people in attendance, down from prior years. That suits me just fine, honestly – many of the people I don’t want to run into aren’t here. Before the event my buddy Garrett informs me that this year’s event has a golden ticket which is supposedly going to go to Best Overall instead of Best General. That’s something I doubt, but also I wish I didn’t know as it’ll keep me invested longer than if I thought a single game loss was enough to take me out of the running.

Round 1: vs. Bradley Langford’s Grey Knights

Brad’s a local – I mean it’s a Texas event so they’re all “local,” but Brad’s a local at one of the stores close to me – and he’s here primarily because his wife and the rest of his team are. He’s a chill dude and we have a great game.

Bradley's List - Click to Expand

Bradley’s on Grey Knights, which normally would be a great matchup for me, except this terrain is wide open and as a result it’s impossible to hide from his Dreadknights. I have some tools to deal with him – a Stratagem which gives me a 4+ feel no pain against PSYCHIC attacks and turns his weapons hazardous is powerful here – but only if I can actually make those 4+s, and even then he’s got a lot of 3-damage attacks which will plow through a 4+++ on 2W models.

The Mission: Purge the Foe / Smoke and Mirrors / Tipping Point

I’m Going First. 

This is a nightmare scenario for me. Going first on Purge is bad, and I especially don’t want to go first into Grey Knights, who can trivially hide and then teleport off the table at the end of my first turn, getting turn 1 Deep Strike moves on me. Bad turns to worse when I draw my first two secondary missions: Recover Assets and Marked for Death. Bradley picks three relatively inconsequential units for Marked – while I’ll score if they leave the table, he can just pick units that don’t plan to leave – and I end up discarding Marked for a CP while attempting to score Recover Assets. My goal here is to just hold one objective most of the game and prevent “hold more” as much as possible.

Bradley can respond to this trivially, and does so by teleporting a Dreadknight where it can wipe my unit attempting to Recover Assets – there’s nowhere to hide from ranged guns on this terrain and it’s impossible to screen, particularly when Draigo and his unit can just make a 6″ charge out of deep strike. He only needs to kill one of my two units to stop the action, and he’s able to do that, in part because I am not making any 4+ Feel No Pain rolls.

Bradley scores 2 VP for Bring it Down killing my Rhino and another 4 for kill one on turn 1, then I draw Cleanse on turn 2 to go with Recover Assets. This is also the last thing I wanted as it would mean I’d have to walk out into the open on multiple objectives and do actions, taking away shooting that I desperately need to do to pull units off the table. This is pretty much game over – I can keep pace on primary missions, but essentially being blanked on the first two turns of the game is unrecoverable, especially after Bradley’s Turn 2 draws are Extend Battle Lines and Establish Locus, which amount to 9 free VP for him.

These hits kept coming – I managed to score Assets on 2 and then drew Extend Battle Lines (free) and Sabotage on 3, the latter of which was again, impossible thanks to the terrain and opponent combo – there was simply nowhere I could be with a unit and still survive unless I were to say, commit Magnus to doing an action instead of killing enemy units. By the end of the game I’d only scored 11 VP on secondary missions.

Result: 53-76, Loss

Not how you want to start an event! Bradley was a fine opponent, and I enjoyed playing him, but I knew that game was over after my second turn and grinding it out over the remainder was pretty miserable. I wish Bradley luck in the next two rounds and he offers a concession, telling me he’s going to drop after day one anyways. I refuse and tell him that I hope he goes 3-0 so he really gets to agonize over it.

We meet up with the Astros Militarum gang – Dan, Andrew Corban, Brendan, and Garrett Moore, plus some Kingwood guys – Colin and James – and eat some sandwiches outside. The weather is as close to ideal as you can get in Houston this time of year, with highs in the low 90s and a slight breeze, so in the shade things are super pleasant. Which is great, because the venue isn’t air conditioned well and it gets stupid hot in there.

Round 2: vs. Dan “Swiftblade” Richardson’s Chaos Space Marines

Longtime readers will recognize Dan’s name from older articles; he’s a mainstay of these columns and one of the first friends I made after moving to Texas. He’s an absolutely swell guy and he’s been steadily improving, going 4-1 at Warzone Houston last year. We haven’t played at an event yet that I can recall, and it’s unfortunate we’re matching up now in the 0-1 bracket because I know his list and I’m about to dumpster him.

Dan's list - click to expand

Dan’s running Renegade Raiders, but he’s pivoted a bit back from his Rubrics list to one with Abaddon – presumably because he didn’t have the models for the Rubrics painted yet. That’s not great, because this version of the list is much worse. He’d have been better off running a Pactbound Detachment list going heavier on ranged firepower given his Vindicators and Forgefiend.

The Mission: Take and Hold / Prepared Positions / Hammer and Anvil

I’m going first.

This is, again, going first when I don’t want to be. Renegade Raiders benefit from going second because they want you to get on objectives so they can activate their detachment ability for extra AP. Also, I’m on Take and Hold, where it’s relatively easy to keep the score close if you’re going second, then dart out and score an easy 15 VP for primary on the final turn. If you’re only up by 5-10 on round 5 on Take and Hold and you’re going first, you’re actually behind.

With this in mind, my goal was to cripple Dan’s primary scoring, and use the terrain to do it. This was a three-part plan:

1. Kill the Cultists on turn 1 so Dan can’t sticky his home objective
2. Kill anything that moves onto the objective later, before it can score
3. Aggressively push to the middle and hold those objectives early, and prevent Dan from scoring in the middle

When you combine this with the large crate terrain used by Warzone on the Ls – which is not breachable – it becomes easy to control the flow of units moving onto the home objective. If i cripple Dan’s primary production early, he won’t be able to catch up.

This pretty much goes according to plan – I drop the Terminators in the middle early and use them to pick up the Cultists and Bikes, and lose about half of them to Vindicator/Forgefiend Fire in the return. Credit to Dan, he uses Cypher pretty effectively here to keep me off Overwatch early but I’m able to take out the Vindicators pretty quickly with the Terminators and Magnus, and I use a Cabbalistic Ritual to reduce the cost of Overwatch at one point to surprise him with a kill on one of his Chosen units. This one ends up being closer than I expected thanks to Dan spiking some some saves with his Forgefiend, but ultimately I hold Dan to just 20 points on primary (with 10 on the final turn) and 25 on secondary despite him drawing a decent number of kill secondaries.

Result: 71-55, Win

Dan’s biggest mistake was underusing Abaddon – he kept Abaddon and his chosen in his backfield most of the game, using him for re-rolls, and while he was able to pull of some insane overwatch shooting that way, it functionally meant one of his best units just wasn’t doing anything, letting me run over him and keep him off scoring.

Round 3: vs. Adepta Sororitas

Sisters are a really good army and a tough matchup, but this particular list wasn’t running the Triumph or Bringers of the Flame, allowing me to breath a bit easier coming in.

The List - click to expand

The lack of long-range shooting here is a boon to me, particularly on this wide-open terrain. There’s only a single Castigator to worry about and that means I can pick and choose my targets, taking this army apart piece by piece.

The Mission: Terraform / Crucible of Battle / Swift Action

I’m Going First. 

I finally get to go first when I want to – on the mission that gives a huge advantage to going first. My opponent wasn’t really familiar with that rule coming into the game, so I take a few minutes to explain it and why it’s important. I’ll end up going for the triple Terraform round 1 but only end up getting one finished – a shame, but I’ll also never give up any, either.

This one’s over pretty quick. Vahl and her Warsuits are kept out of reserves, allowing me to pick them apart with shooting as they cross the table and by the time anything touches me in melee it’s already decimated to the point it can’t kill a single unit of Rubrics. I run out of units to kill by turn 4. This is the wrong sisters army for this terrain, and it’s fighting an uphill battle. Tough break.

The Result: 85-50, Win

That wraps up day one, and Thomas informs me he has to drive back home – one of his kids is throwing up and he needs to drive back to provide some much-needed support for the wife. We head back to the house and he jets off, then I head over to Brick House Tavern over in Humble where I meet up with the lunch crew plus Greg “Klobasnek” Narro for some drinks and dinner. It’s a good group and Brick House has some solid burgs, including a tasty triple decker that thoroughly destroys the delicate balance of stomach acids I normally roll with.

So I sleep like shit, but at least I do it in my own bed. I’m up a little late the next day, but I make it in for round 4 with several minutes to spare before the round starts.

Round 4: vs. Charles’ Thousand Sons

Charles has made the very brave move of playing Thousand Sons without Magnus. He’s got a lovely army of Rubrics from every era, including a ton of Heresy models with red armor and gold trim. He’s running a trio of Karnivores for support.

Charles' List - Click to Expand

Charles’ list is running a lot of big units of Rubrics, where he can throw out ten flamers’ worth of damage if I get to close, and they have 4+ invulnerable saves thanks to Exalted Sorcerers. It’s potentially pretty nasty, but they’re all the perfect targets for my Rubrics and my Infernal Masters.

The Mission: The Ritual / Crucible of Battle / Swift Action

Charles opts for fixed missions, taking Assassination and Cleanse. Cleanse isn’t great for The Ritual, and I don’t think he’s super familiar with the mission. It’s a tough combo because you can’t Cleanse in your Deployment Zone, so it takes two turns to create the objectives you need to Cleanse for points unless you’re holding the center – and that’s not necessarily what you want to be doing. The Tzaangor Enlightened are otherwise good units for doing both, but if you don’t hit the middle aggressively on turn one, you’re basically capped at 14 VP for that secondary going 2/4/4/4.

I’m going first.

That’s what I want on this mission and I take the initiative and come out aggressively. I teleport the Terminators to midtable, keeping them in range of only half of the flamers in the forwardmost unit – the goal here is to limit the number of hits I’ll take, and Charles takes the bait, throwing out five flamers and only getting 2 damage on a terminator in the process. Then I use the terminators, rubrics, and magnus to kill a Karnivore and two units of Rubrics before Charles’ first turn. That’s pretty devastating for his output, and while he’s able to push into the middle on his turn I follow that up by killing another Rubric unit in Overwatch when it disembarks from a Rhino and I spike my wound rolls with the Arcane Vortex Infernal Master.

I feel a little bad in this one – Charles deserves more than a game but his army just isn’t prepared for the massive hurt mine can put out and his big units of Rubrics are the ideal targets, particularly when I have the opportunity to go first and just smash his face in. This terrain is real feast-or-famine in that regard.

Result: 97-18, Win

We meet up for one more round of sandwiches and chips and then it’s on to round 5.

Round 5: vs. Scott Kocian’s Astra Militarum

Scott's List - Click to Expand

Before round 5 they changed the terrain, adding a pair of additional ruins and making things much tighter. This is a great change, and I’m happy to see it before I have to take on Guard. That said, it’s not all in my favor – there are a lot more places for guard to hide now, making it easier for the little shits to score and do actions.

Playing Scott is a real treat, and I’ve played him twice before at Asgard events. I’m 2-0 against him so far, so he’s gunning for me this time. And he’s got a good chance – Scott’s double-dorn, 12-Bullgryn list with Catachans is a nightmare for me, and I maintain guard is one of my worst matchups. There’s lots of big shooting to kill Terminators, lots of little scoring units you can’t stop, and if Bullgryns spike their 4+s there’s nothing you can do.

The Mission: Linchpin / Raise Banners / Search and Destroy

I’m going first.

Sigh. I really did not want to go first most of these rounds, and this is a nightmare combo for me – Guard are one of the best armies in the game at threatening your home objective, and even if I overwatch a unit of Scions off the table as they arrive from Deep Strike, Scott can just pay 2 CP to put them right back on the table that same phase. Linchpin putting an emphasis on the home objective means I basically need to dedicate an extra unit to protecting it all game, putting me down a unit when I can’t afford to do that.

I also don’t want to go first – being the aggressor here doesn’t help me at all, and now my plan shifts from “picking apart Scott’s army and taking advantage of the terrain” to “being aggressive and attempting to take an early lead that Scott can’t make up late.”

I swing for the fences on turn 1, putting banners on all four easy objectives and snagging Extend Battle lines and 2 VP for Locus. I manage to hold all three going into turn 2 for an 18VP turn 2, but I bounce off the Bullgryn – I only kill four out of the six there, despite an insane amount of shooting and a charge from the teleporting Scarabs. I take out one Dorn and a Scout Sentinel, but it’s not as much as I’d have liked.

On Scott’s turn he fires back by getting most of the Terminators and my Arcane Vortex Rubrics – though I do manage to pull up his Scout Sentinel in Overwatch. I need to go big in response, and it doesn’t happen – I kill the other Dorn but again bounce off the Bullgryn with Magnus, and Scott’s left with a unit of 3 and a unit of 2, the latter of which refuses to fail a battleshock test. Meanwhile my remaining Terminators – the champion and the character – will go on to fail three straight battleshock tests on the following three turns, in a twist that’s just comically fucked.

I stay ahead early, and I’m able to max secondary objectives during the game while going 18/13/3/3 on primary, good for 37 VP. I hold Scott off the middle for as long as I can, but he’s just got too many units and I bounce at the worst times, so he goes 3/3/13/18 on primary while only scoring 38/40 on secondary with 4 VP for banners.

Which seems good, but Scott takes a Secret Mission: Unbroken Wall. Going first there isn’t much I can do to stop it, so Scott is able to pull out a 40 for primary on the final turn, which puts him at 88 to my 87. I’m really not a fan of the way Secret Missions lets you keep scoring on your way to 40, but there’s not a lot I can do. Scott played a hell of a game and he’s a great guy, and we had a fun time.

Result: 87-88, Loss

That’s a tough one, but I’m pretty OK with it. I don’t like going 3-2 at this point, but I can also just leave early now, and I’m exhausted anyways. I head back home and grab dinner with the wife and boy while the rest of the crew finish out round 6. Scott will end up winning his final game and placing 6th, which is a hell of an accomplishment. Garrett ended up 4th with his Space Wolves, but surprisingly did not win Best Overall, or if he did the ticket ended up going to best general anyways. Not sure on that one. Brendan finished 5-1 with his Votann, which is also a huge step up for him, while Colin finished 4-2 (nice), and after starting day one at 0-3, Dan went 3-0 on Day two to reclaim some dignity. Andrew went 2-1 on day one and then dropped day 2 to go on a date, and possibly touch grass.

Next Time: Tampa Prep

That does it for this week. I’m exhausted and kind of burnt out, but also Tampa is in two weeks, so I have to keep things going. I’m honestly not sure what I’m going to bring. I’m sick of the Thousand Sons at this point but the Night Lords aren’t ready yet and I don’t want to crunch on them. I’ll figure it out over the next week or so – see you then.

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