We all watched Jenny Nicholson’s outstanding four-hour video about her experience at the now-defunct Star Wars hotel at Walt Disney World. The one that cost over six thousand dollars. Then we all watched as, after it blew up, there were a slew of posts on various sites talking about how that was off base. So in order to both chase that sweet, sweet SEO goodness and also provide another completely unsponsored take, we thought we’d have our own “Contemptor” Kevin Stillman weigh in on his visit in 2023 and talk about whether she was off the mark. Spoiler: Jenny was (mostly) right.
In 2023, I skipped going to both the Las Vegas Open and Adepticon. I was turning 40 in 2023 and decided to go on a once-in-a-lifetime experience in order to celebrate. Would I spend several days relaxing on a beach, drinks constantly in my hand? Would I sit around the house, building and painting miniatures? Would I go to some far away island? Nope.
Instead, I had decided in 2022 that I instead I’d be going to the Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser. It had been nearly 20 years since I had last been to Walt Disney World in 20 years by that point, and so I had not been to the new(ish) Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge park, either. Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser, in addition to being an exclusive Disney Parks Experience (TM), would *also* have certain options which made doing many of the activities in Galaxy’s Edge more convenient: An untimed Fastpass for both Rise of Resistance and Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run; plus earlier times to sign up for Lightsaber building, Oga’s Cantina, and Droid Depot. We would also be able to dress up in Star Wars costumes and get to play an interactive Star Wars game. From the advertising, my brain interpreted the Galactic Starcruiser as a cross between a themed hotel, dinner theater, and an escape room. So I asked my friend Laurel (who grew up in Orlando and was intimately familiar with Disney Parks), to join me, and she readily agreed.
The Add-ons
When I placed my reservation, I made sure to book the Captain’s Table package for our dinner. I would later also place a reservation for us at Oga’s Cantina and schedule a lightsaber building session for myself. Laurel already had her own awesome-looking “natural” Lightsaber.
DAY ONE
The two of us arrived at different times: I arrived on the Saturday before our Starcruiser experience (which started on Sunday), so I could go to Disney Springs and hang out with a friend who I had not seen since before the pandemic. I booked a hotel room at the New Orleans-themed hotel, Port Orleans, and we had a fun time! Port Orleans left a lot of to be desired as the hotel did not have a fitness center (something I should have checked before booking), but they did have beignets… though we found those to be mediocre. However the hotel was a good staging area for us to freshen up and don our first costumes before heading to the Starcruiser.
The Starcruiser was deep within the Disney backlot, requiring us to drive through a big chunk of the Employee parking lot and through an ID check before we could reach the Starcruiser’s valet. Once there, our bags were taken (for security screening and eventual distribution), and we had to queue up in the overcast weather waiting for our opportunity to get in. This was also when we received our magic bands.
There’s not a lot to do while waiting in line. We waited for about twenty minutes before we were able to enter the “Boarding Pod” and go up to The Galactic Starcruiser.
One of the blue-suited Crew Members escorted us to our cabin, where we found our luggage waiting for us. The rooms were tiny; ours had a queen-sized bed, a space window, a communications stations where we could talk to the ship’s “droid” quartermaster, and two bunk beds. Because Laurel has rhuematoid arthritis, I let her take the Queen while I crashed in the bunk. It had been a while since I had to sleep in a bunk bed but this could, in theory, have proven exciting. Once we’d sorted our sleeping arrangements it was time to 1) check out the gift shop and 2) start exploring the ship with our datapad apps.
Unfortunately, this is when the lack of game design from Disney became apparent. The only real “game” functions we could interact with through the datapad were either to 1) try and hack a terminal for the Smuggler character and 2) try to translate the Aurebesh lettering in the “Climate Simulator.” While there were a number of rooms we could explore, there wasn’t really anything to do in those rooms. Furthermore, the app wouldn’t let me progress through the terminal hack, and I eventually had to go to customer service to have them manually adjust the result/progress.
During all of this, the blue-suited Crew Members made small talk with us. This was all trying to set the stage for the story: In addition to the usual questions asking us where we were from, the crew was focused on asking us about our favorite Gaya songs. We eventually made our way to the dining room, where Laurel grabbed a quick lunch and I had a drink.
I was told that most of the beers on the menu were brewed specially for Galaxy’s Edge and Starcruiser. The Dogfish Head “Trandoshan Ale” is what I mostly stuck to over the weekend. For those unfamiliar, Dogfish Head is one of the better local brews in the Mid-Atlantic Region (they’re located in Milton, DE, not far from Rehoboth Beach), and I appreciated the good taste of home. The exclusive beer would end up being one of the high points – and more memorable parts – of the trip.
Once we had all of the passengers aboard the Starcruiser, we had the “initial muster” in the Atrium – this was our introduction to the ship’s main characters and started the adventures. The characters included:
- The ship’s captain, who was blue and had shiny red hair
- The Cruise Director
- Lieutenant Croy and his Stormtroopers, who were easily the most hammy of any of the characters on Day One
- Sammie, the newbie engineer.
- SK-62O, an Astromech Droid
- Raithe Cole, Gaya’s Manager, AKA the Smuggler
Afterward we had some additional activities with associated cutscenes: We had “bridge training,” which took us to the ship’s bridge where we’d participate in a sequence of small computer games where we had to angle the deflector shields, fire the ship’s weapons, and if my memory serves, do some sort of cargo capture. The weapons and shields were the most memorable of the games, but they were more or less old-style arcade games and the main goal was to get a better score than our friends.
We also had “lightsaber training,” in which we got to practice using the ship’s training lightsaber against remotes. This was mostly akin to a physical rhythm game, and I had a lot of fun playing it. If I had the opportunity, I would have gladly done more of it the next morning in lieu of my regular workout because the Starcruiser did not have a fitness center.
After receiving some words of wisdom from Master Yoda, we were more or less on our own until dinner. I tried out the “Sector Set”, which was Space Bingo. I do appreciate the re-canonization of obscure Star Wars Legends planets, like N’Zoth.
Aside from that, though, the only thing available to before dinner was to try and play the game on the Datapad App, and hope that the App would give enough interesting things to do in the various rooms to fill the time. Well, there was that and visiting the bar.
I’m convinced that Starcruiser went with a cash bar because there were not enough interesting things to do to prevent adults from getting sloshed and making assholes of themselves, and instead attempted to use the high price of themed hotel drinks to stop that instead.
For dinner, we were seated at The Captain’s Table. I did my second costume change, into a “formal” tunic that was helpfully sold (and still seems to be sold) by ShopDisney.
This gave us a chance to chat with the Captain about the storyline so far, and to see the various character actors (Croy, Raithe, the Cruise Director), as well as watch Gaya’s show. We had an unobstructed view of all the action.
During dinner, Sammie the incompetent engineer tries to sneak Chewbacca through the dining room, but he is caught by Lieutenant Croy and sent to the brig. People (usually children, who seem to gather around Sammie wherever he goes) apparently helped Sammie break Chewbacca out of the brig. This led to the first night’s ending scene in the atrium, in which Lieutenant Croy put a restraining bolt on SK-62O. After that, it was back to the room for sleep.
DAY TWO
Day Two began with the App having determined which storyline we were set on. I was placed on the “grown-up” Resistance storyline with the Captain, while Laurel’s App crashed and apparently had not put her on any storyline. She’d eventually managed to charm her way into having that fixed.
The morning and early afternoon of day two were primary taken up with a trip to the Star Wars Galaxy’s Edge park at Hollywood Studios. We took a “transport shuttle” to the park. I thought this was a themed bus but it turned out to be a box truck.
This was my first time at Galaxy’s Edge. There were some minor game elements here in the App for us to play with. If memory serves, the mission I received was to get equipment to save SK-62O from the First Order. This was done by scanning QR codes on specified crates. Laurel bailed a bit earlier than I did, in part because she had done it before and in part because she was a bit tired. This was when I assembled my lightsaber, opting for a purple saber.
After we returned is when the “actual” story adventure began to heat up. I changed my costume again, this time opting to ditch my “Star Wars adventurer” clothes in favor of a hoodie based on the Star Trek Discovery Season 2 Starfleet uniform and my Starfleet delta. This particular costume change elicited a lot of fun questions and comments from the cast, who continually asked me to explain what Starfleet was in-universe. In detail. The need to think on my feet in order to not be exposed as an obnoxious contrarian was definitely a fun twist on the gameplay. While Laurel and I were hanging out in the restaurant we were approached by Raithe Cole, whom Laurel struck up a rapport with.
Raithe invited us onto the Smuggler path and requested we meet him in the cargo bay at a certain time. At the same time, we also had access to the Resistance storyline with the Captain so we met the Captain on the bridge. This led to a story sequence in which we had to smuggle Rey aboard the ship. We had to use the ship’s weapons and shields to blow up TIE fighters and keep Rey’s shuttle unharmed. After that, we went down to the cargo bay to meet Rey and help her stow away aboard the ship.
This part was fun, since these groups were relatively small (about twelve people) and we were able to interact with Rey and the cast directly instead of being told things. I suggested that Rey not try to find Sammie, because being near Sammie was the equivalent of holding up a sign that said “Hurrah, we’re here” for the First Order. Rey would later accuse me of being a First Order spy because I hadn’t paid close enough attention and didn’t know the Resistance catchphrase.
Following those events we went back to the Bridge at Raithe’s invitation to do the Bridge game a third time to help Hondo Onaka smuggle his Coaxium aboard.
Dinner on day two was “rudely” interrupted by the event finale: Kylo Ren was coming aboard to seize a legendary Jedi Artifact! This wasn’t super-interactive, but it was still relatively thrilling because we did get a lightsaber fight right in front of us! The crew and passengers of the Halcyon are able to rally and defeat Kylo Ren and Lieutenant Croy, saving the day. Also during the finale, the various character actors shouted out their favorite guests who had helped them out the most. For some reason, I was shouted out by the male lead from the Romance storyline. I have no idea *why* I was selected for that as I had only limited interaction with him, but it was still kind of fun.
Then it was time for celebratory snacks and drinks. Many more celebratory drinks.
Then the next morning, we woke up, packed our things, and left.
REFLECTIONS AND RUMINATIONS
One month after we returned from Starcruiser, they announced the attraction was closing. Also, Laurel caught a bad case of COVID-19 during her trip. So, with these two big issues, the question arises: Was it worth it and why or why not? Let’s explore the cases I’d make for each argument.
NOT WORTH IT
As a game, Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser was absolutely terrible. For an experience this expensive, the game was severely lacking. First, for an “immersive experience” that was designed to isolate you into the Star Wars universe, the gameplay almost exclusively consisted of (and was based on) wandering around a hotel using an app on our phones – an app which did not even work properly most of the time! So the core gameplay loop was extremely unappealing even when it did work, and frustrating and useless when it didn’t. I didn’t plan on spending more than 6,000 dollars to just stare at my phone.
The physical gameplay of most of the rest of the ship was, at best, extremely simplistic. The Starcruiser’s engine room, which was filled with interesting doohickeys and thingamabobs, looked like it was filled with puzzles. But solving these puzzles without being prompted by the App yielded absolutely nothing. The bridge gameplay was varied, with different stations that we were all rotated through, but was relatively limited to two or three times for maybe a total of seven minutes per station. There was not enough time to try and master these stations, nor a lot of feedback if you were naturally talented. Lastly, the story was not remotely impacted by how well you did at these stations: Rey would still get aboard and Hondo would still get the Coaxium aboard. Lightsaber training was a fun rhythm game that we got to do once and then the Lightsaber Training Pod was sealed except for story events in which you had to hide Rey from the First Order.
Far from being an “Escape Room meets LARP meets Dinner Theater,” Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser was much more of a “Dinner Theater LARP” experience that was guided by a gameplay system that did not work very well. So trying to play the game was frustrating and not all that deep, and did not ultimately impact the greater story.
The contrast I’ll use is the Games Workshop 2023 Warhammer Grand Narrative: There, the “App” by which gameplay was guided was Discord that was almost entirely user-generated content. For the Pact of Enlightenment side, this led to several players reacting to the storyline and taking the story into their own hands. This started off in a text thread which later had buy-in from GW’s actors and ultimately affected pairings for the Sixth and Final Game. That is exciting and immersive roleplaying that could wind up in a Crusade Supplement down the line – not something planned for by the studio or Events team, but something more emergent and exciting. Starcruiser did not lend itself to such creativity, and for an “immersive experience” to overall lack that sort of narrative creativity is a significant weakness.
YES, WORTH IT
Nonetheless, it *was* a unique experience and a canon Star Wars story, and it was a better and more coherent story than Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Both Laurel and I were able to participate in the story because we were relatively outgoing and able to think on our feet to engage in witty repartee. Those were the best moments in the game: When our LARPing gave us additional immersion thanks to the extremely talented and dedicated cast. One of the best bits of interaction I had was when I started discussing the First Order’s workers’ compensation laws with the bartenders. The cast and crew encouraged us to think on our feet, and give responses that would fit in-universe. The roleplay was very well done, and must be commended.
Furthermore, the cast and crew members were absolutely stellar. From extremely attentive waiters and bartenders who were both doing those jobs excellently while at the same time remaining in-character; to the cast members who were charming, hammy, or otherwise engaging, I cannot say enough good things about the people who made Starcruiser work.
Finally, the integration between Galaxy’s Edge and Starcruiser was good for me, personally: Actually doing the cool activities at Galaxy’s Edge on a regular trip (Saber building, Oga’s Cantina, Rise of the Resistance) seemed like they could be a real struggle, and having a chance to ensure that I could do all of them on this trip was very much worthwhile. And yes, I very much love carrying around my lightsaber.
That said, the app-based gameplay of Galaxy’s Edge was completely superfluous to the gameplay of Starcruiser. Scanning crates seemed like a timewaster down there, especially since Laurel’s version of the App didn’t feel like working. That Disney could not get their app to work on a flagship attraction was inexcusable, even if having a working app would just mean engaging in a half-assed sort of way.
The Final Verdict
I’m glad I went to Galactic Starcruiser. I probably would have had more fun by taking that money and spending an additional week in the UK going to Nottingham and making the pilgrimage to Warhammer World before Warhammer Fest 2023. Ultimately, Starcruiser was not worth the price because the gaming elements were absolutely lacking.
And honestly, nothing in Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser was as disappointing as the beignets at the Port Orleans hotel. Those were just inexcusable.
P.S: The one thing I think Ms. Nicholson got wrong in her video? The “room assistant” droid D3-O9 wasn’t so much a virtual assistant but an animated character. Periodically I would go back to my room and have conversations with her about the events of the experience. Other than that, Jenny was right.
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