Stormbringer is a weekly hobby magazine from Hachette Partworks introducing players to Warhammer: Age of Sigmar. In this 80-week series, our intrepid magazine-receiver will be reviewing each individual issue, its included models, and gaming materials. A Premium US subscription was provided to Goonhammer for review purposes. If you want to follow along at home, US Customers can check out Stormbringer here.
I just found out there’s a Squig bottle opener, which is somehow even dumber and more unwieldy than the punching dagger that is my Stormcast bottle opener. It’s perfect and I love it, no notes.
The Narrative Materials
Our narrative section this week is feeling pretty woodsy, starting with a section on Alarielle, the Everqueen. She’s the goddess of life, responsible for the Sylvaneth as a whole. She rescued soulpods from the Old World before it blew up, and those seeds were planted in the Mortal Realms to become the Sylvaneth we know today. Like many gods, she has several aspects, but we’ve only got a model for her war aspect. She’s not just a forest goddess, but one of nature at large, so the winds and rivers are at her command too. I’d love to see that further fleshed out on the tabletop, though I imagine some of the dragonfly cavalry Sylvaneth have are touching on that. She’s especially averse to the forces of Chaos who would rather corrupt nature than preserve it, and as a goddess of life she’s naturally at odds with Nagash, the god of death. Her allyship with the other gods of Order only goes so far, as she cares more about the natural world than any alliance. It’s seldom a fictional elf riding a beetle has a worldview that aligns so closely with my own, but here we are.
Following up from issue 46, it’s time for a second instalment of Nature’s Gambit. This story following Myilanae Forest-Blessed last saw her being used as bait to lure a Gloomspite Gitz warband together. Well, she immediately gets pulled into a sidequest, as a hapless Stormcast party wanders into the grove and gets largely massacred. A Branchwych tells Myilanae to lead the two surviving Sigmarites out of the forest after they decide to stop hitting the trees with hammers. As the party of largely unnamed characters close in on a realmgate to the Realm of Fire, the chapter ends, with a vague promise that these folks are not alone. The story is kind of meandering, there’s no space given to establish relationships between anybody, and its main character doesn’t have any agency, so I’m not really buckwild about it.
Our last stop here concerns this week’s new models, the gallant Gloomspite Gitz cavalry, Boingrot Bounderz. These are the lucky few grots who survive a battle as Squig Hoppers, so they are technically veterans, and you will respect them. Their hooked helmets represent the Bad Moon, and their sort-of-superstition is that this will protect them from their Squig mounts, as not even a Squig wants to disrespect the Bad Moon.
Bollit poked his Squig with his pokin’ lance, riling up the bouncy beast. “Oy, Bollit! Quit jabbin yer Squig, we gots gitz to get!” shouted Gretch Da Nasty, champion Squig Rider of da Git Grabbaz. “But boss! It’s a pokin’ lance! It’s fer pokin!” retorted Bollit. “You some kinda philosophiza, Bollit? A real brain boy? Come on!” Gretch punctuated his question with a smack upside Bollit’s head. “Mount up and get bouncin afore I cut your hands off and add em to my collection!”
The Hobby Materials
This week we get a lance of five brave knights, better known as Boingrot Bounderz. Note that they can be built as Squig Hoppers instead, but those have a minimum unit size of ten, and we can’t have any illegal goblins here. These guys are charming as hell, with a chaotic, cartoonish dynamism, and completely interchangeable squig and rider heads to ensure variety. My only qualm with the kit is the somewhat overwrought hero rocks and mushrooms the models are jumping off of. If anything, I think they would make them look more repetitive unit after unit, and they’ll make storage a challenge. No small part of the magazine is devoted to the construction and painting of these miniatures, as while they are humble in stature they represent a fairly involved hobby project. The paint guide will get you by, though it leads to a muddier, more subdued look than I like on my Squigs.
The Gaming Materials
I hope you’ve got your Bounderz built and ready to bounce, because this week your mission is to Ride ‘Em Down. This mission represents a battle through a rain-slick valley, with our two armies clashing in a longways engagement. To represent this weather condition, units can advance and charge, but every time they do, they take D3 mortal wounds. It’s not gonna set the world on fire but it’s an alright little modifier.
Final Verdict:
Boingrot Bounderz/Squig Hoppers are $60 for ten models, so you’re getting half that for just $13.99. That comes out to under half price for these minis, so unless minimum squad size gets cranked up to ten in the future, that’s a great deal. The mission is pretty light this week and the short story was pretty unsatisfying, but I liked the article about Alarielle and the hobby section could be useful for an aspiring git. I’d say this isn’t the strongest issue by any measure, but the models are some of the most delightful that Games Workshop makes, and useful for any Gloomspite Gitz player.
See you next issue, warhams.
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