Things were not going well. 

An hour’s bombardment had fallen in sixty seconds as those damned Republic dogs on the hill did nothing but hurl hell and lightning down on us, pounding slabs of armor off of Gawain’s frame. Each hit sent a shower of sparks across my vision as she shook beneath me, her bones groaning in exasperated pain at the withering barrage.

Leo had already faltered and collapsed ‘neath their fire. The engine on his old Phoenix Hawk guttering out in a plume of smoke alongside Orla and her Uziel that lay in a smoking heap on the remains of a shattered leg. Atop of all that Maher, damnable coward that she was, had already turned and bolted like hell itself was on her heels. Running her Axman as far from the fight as she could manage; free of repercussions yet again, no doubt.

All that was left were me, Riley in his Hunchback, Carson in his Valk’, a gaggle of decrepit tanks, unmotivated infantry and my ever reliable Gawain.

The deluge of lightning and laser fire faded, the distant rumble of ‘mechs on the advance rolling in my ears as Gawain’s seismic sensor came alight with activity. An unbroken line of advancing signatures pressed in on our faltering lines. We took the moment to breathe and, more importantly, move. Cresting the next ridge, a tide of red and green hoved into view; no doubt ready to lay a veritable mountain of firepower upon us the moment they noticed we’d closed. 

They were too close to get away from, now. There could be no running. There could be no retreat. Nothing short of surrender or victory would get us out of this and only one of them was an option today. 

“STORMHAMMERS!” I all but screamed over the shortband, doing everything I could to keep that gnawing fear twisting in my gut from consuming me as it had Maher. “GIVE THOSE REPUBLIC DOGS EVERYTHING WE’VE GOT!”

A chorus of tentative agreement met my call as I urged Gawain onward around the corner. Her old actuators squealed, the myomer pushing us fast as she could manage along the ridgeline. Our cannon barked as she shuddered beneath me, a flight of missiles screwing through the air behind the screaming shell, finding purchase as they sent a scatter of shattered armor off of the Scorpion that’d stuck its head out. The green horde redoubled their efforts. Screeching cannon fire and blinding lasers scorched the air around us as we swung into the open to make one last try at breaking through their line.

Gawain called for my attention as a new contact flashed to life on her sensors; it was light, only thirty tons or so but moving fast. The green and red blur screamed around the hill ahead of us, all but flying at a dead sprint towards me. A pall of static invaded my ears as it closed in, twin shafts of vibrant green struck out at us, one of them carving a channel of armor away from Gawain’s arm. 

A blaring scream cut through the cockpit around me as the ancient Longarm faltered and finally gave out, the shell in the breach corkscrewing wide as the barrel became little more than a melted heap of slag. Gawain’s aging IFF finally marked the approaching nuisance as a Hellion.

Shit.

That little, streaking terror continued to close as I redoubled my push to the edge of the ridge, banking in close to haul it’s bevy of missiles around on Gawain and I. A plume of smoke, fire and hate bloomed from the little mech as a wall of missiles flew free, a fistful of them chewing away at our armor while the rest tore greedily at the ground.

Wrong move, shithead.

I hauled Gawain’s foot high and brought it down hard into the speeding Hellion’s path, slamming the little twerp square in the chest and sending them to the floor in a heap before hauling the vast flat of Gawain’s boot back up again, trailing pieces of shattered gyro and crushed metal. I stared down at the mess of red, green, and bare metal, seeing the ‘warrior inside frantically trying to haul the ‘mech out of the way before I brought the hammer back down. 

And I did, straight into his cockpit. 

The Hellion went limp ‘neath Gawain’s boot as the Pilot’s ejector flared at the last second, sending the bastard as far away from me as it could manage. It wouldn’t be far enough. 

Gawain’s arm rose as a chorus of renewed, confident cheers from my lancemates roared over the commline. I could feel the power plant in her heart thrumming eagerly at the idea of killing the rat that’d scorned our paint and marred her boot. Maybe it was spite. Maybe it was hate. Maybe it was just a hope to finally feel like we’d gotten a victory today. Like we could actually get through this wall of iron. No matter what it was, I didn’t care at this point.

I just wanted this little fucker dead.

The laser’s hum poured through the frame around me as we resumed our advance, building to a crescendo before lancing from the barrel only a few meters wide of where the smoking seat sat in the middle of the field. I walked the shaft of light in as a rain of missiles scattered off of our hull, the hateful beam scouring the dirt and leaving a trail of roiling smoke as it crept towards the pilot. 

And then everything went wrong again.

Her frame screamed again as her leg buckled out from underneath us, sending us toppling to the unforgiving dirt below in a heap of molten armor and scattered parts. A spike of pain drove into my head as we slid through the mire, leaving a furrow of failure in the damp grass only a few meters away from the Hellions wreckage.

I rolled us over onto Gawain’s back, staring up at the unfamiliar sky for a moment that felt like an hour before I managed to haul what little armament we had left to bear on the bastards that’d stood in our way.

But all I saw was the bottom of a boot.

I would have liked to see Donegal’s blue skies one last time.

Mechwarrior Grace MacCaffrey , Ymir YMR-2B pilot, Lyran Commonwealth Armed Forces ‘Stormhammers’. Towne, August 3133. DECEASED.

—

Howdy Mechwarriors and welcome back to Mech Overview! This week I’m still in the Omni-mech mines with the Hellion and I wanna go back home to the periphery. Unfortunately the Clan ‘advisor’ who broke into my office has a gun and I’m scared.

Now, I’ve used the Hellion in my Dominion forces a few times and am of the opinion that there are a lot of funny variants but, unfortunately, a lot of these variants are quite expensive with the cheapest Hellion being 1292 BV and the most expensive being 2095 for a light.

That being said, the Hellion has a plan. Go fast, burn the pilot’s ass and stab backs. It’s a common plan and there are many things that do it for far cheaper but man does the Hellion look sick as fuck while doing it. Look at him down there, he’s got a bad attitude, a smoking problem and a lot of poor life decisions he really wants to share with you!

Chassis

The Hellion, being an omni, shares its qualities, armor and rough layout across all of the variants. The Hellion chassis has 10 armor on the arms, 10 on the side torsos, 14 on the legs,15 on the CT and the normal 9 on the head. It mounts a clan XL engine and the basic 10 double heat sinks with two externals in the feet. All of this builds out a good 11.5 tons of podspace to play with between variants!

Unfortunately, we now come upon one of the critical reasons I find issue with the hellion, and many omni-mechs in general: the movement profile. Being 7/11 is good and makes the Hellion pretty alright in its protection bracket as being a fast mech that could do the Panther’s job if it so chose. Except they don’t so choose and they also gave it a hard mounted MASC in the right torso. This means you’re always paying extra for that 7/11(14) movement profile, even when you don’t really want it. MASC as well is, in my opinion, the more hazardous of the speed boosting mechanisms given that, if it fails, it is going to debilitate the mech in glorious fashion; like that time Peri had a Shadowcat eat shit and die from blowing out its hips like a geriatric.

So, let’s get into it!

DISCLAIMER

The Hellion has one really big problem that makes me terribly sad and that’s its cost. Almost all of these loadouts are funny as hell and in fiction, the video games, or BV agnostic games like a campaign, they would go hard as fuck. This being said, this review is not for either of those situations. I LOVE the Hellion and think it looks fantastic. I would love to see a variant that was cheaper but that is unfortunately not what we get and isn’t super possible with the way the ‘mech is built from the start. As such I feel it important to lean in before the variant copy paste to state that the way we rate mechs is going to tank all of these variants and HARD. This ‘mech is mostly a D rank and it is explicitly due to cost because I cannot in good conscience recommend anything greater than D+ on something this fragile and this expensive that isn’t doing something exceptional. I want nothing more than to be able to field B variants like crazy and I just can’t justify it on the cost unless I’ve decided I’m memeing and bankin’ on luck for that game or going to hard line optimize the rest of the list to have a fighting chance in hell of winning.

Variants

These mechs have all been reviewed based on a standard F through S scale, which you can find described on our landing page here (along with all of our other ‘mech reviews, the name of the box you can buy to get any of the mechs we have covered, and our general methodology).

Prime

LET’S SET THE FUCKING TONE, BOYS.

The Prime certainly does exactly that with a bevy of weapons in the form of four ER medium lasers, an LRM-10 and a three pack of SRM-2s. This is the model in front of you if you have a Hellion and it really is a fun looking, and playing ‘mech. Unfortunately the heat sinks are in a bit of a losing battle which isn’t great for a mech with ammo in it. An alpha strike on the run, with all the streaks landing, sends the prime up 12 heat while giving a potential 60 damage. That is a fucking lot of damage for a ‘mech this size and speed, though after doing this you’re going down to 5/8(10), as such I’d recommend holding the MASC on the entry to try and give you as much movement as you can scrounge up on the way out.

There are all manner of firing orders you can string together with this loadout so I’m sure you could make a Hellion do the function of predating on damaged mechs or trying to shank something that’s got it’s ass in the breeze; let me just go check the price.

Oh.

1,873 BV.

Welp. That’s unfortunate. It’s a great loadout for the frame and it’ll do this job quite happily but good god is it expensive. There’s a few ‘mechs that do it just as well or cheaper while also probably being more numerous in the same price range. This ‘mech, with a touch of skills to make it 3/4, is only 278 BV less than a full star of standard skilled Baboon 6s which go the same speed and each have 2 SRM-6s.

Liberty’s Rating: D+. Oof ouch owie my BV budget.

A

Oh boy! The Little Bastard zone contribution!

At 1,543 BV the A is slightly more restrained, mounting up one ER medium laser and three LRM-10s with one ton of ammo each. For some reason one of these is in the center torso but whatever; ya deal with what you got, I suppose.

This is on the outer edge of the Little Bastard zone and if I’m honest it’s turning the handle on the door labeled EXIT in big letters. Three LRM-10s is great chip damage with the kind of range that means you can keep the A in the back line and have acceptable enough to hit numbers every turn alongside the speed to get into odd, annoying places.

BUT.

It violates one of the core tenets of Little Bastardry: cost. It’s still not cheap enough for you not to notice taking it; let alone for your opponent to decide to leave it alone since it ain’t worth it. Weird, fast fire support which has an alright enough tube count isn’t all that common and this is basically mounting three Valks worth of tubes… just a very expensive way of doing it.

Liberty’s Rating: D+. GO, MY TOOOOOOB MENNNNN

B

Unhinged heavy laser time? Huh, feels a bit early in the letter count for unhinged heavy laser time…

The B has decided that it’s ok to shutdown if the guy he’s shooting at is Yamcha posing on the floor by the end of the salvo and it’s, slightly, not wrong. With 13 double heat sinks aboard the B isn’t even fighting the heat war, it’s just losing it.

This is due to the mere concept of ‘overwhelming firepower’ that Clan Ice Hellion decided should really be in this variant. One large heavy laser in the RA, four medium heavy lasers spread across the side torsos and one emotional support space heater small heavy laser in the head. This is a savage alpha strike of 62 damage in some pretty big chunks, even if you’re probably going to miss a fair bit because heavy laser. This is a level of ‘fuck you’ a lot of Assault ‘mechs will rightfully fear.

Also you’re going to build 23 heat doing it. Since it doesn’t have ammo aboard to explode this means you’re at an 8+ shutdown check and, if you manage to beat the odds, a new movement profile of 2/3(4)…

Good luck!

If you get lucky and land that into something though there’s a good chance it’s either not there anymore or in no condition to complain at the Hellion about it next turn. Just uh… make sure it’s an equivalent exchange for whatever it is you just piss-missiled this thing into.

At 1,569 BV I will be using this abomination in the future and hating myself for paying that cost but man if it works I’ll be on cloud 9.

Liberty’s Rating: D+ for effectiveness, C- for novelty and sheer hilarity. This is terribly, prohibitively expensive but holy fuck is it hilarious. 

C

Got computers up in here just doin’ shit.

The C has a far simpler loadout comprised of four ER medium lasers mated to a targeting computer backed by an ATM-6 with three tons of ammo. The basic amount of heat sinks means that you go up 6 on the alpha at a run which isn’t the worst we’ve seen but at 2,095 fucking BV it should really be better.

You’re getting alright IS Heavy damage with real light mech speed for mid-grade Assault costs but you’re not quite fast enough to count on that  speed acting as armor. In a world where BV wasn’t real this thing would go hard as fuck.

Unfortunately we don’t actually live there. Thing would be awesome as a campaign scout or something, consider it!

Liberty’s Rating: D. Cool in theory, really not usable for the cost.

D

…Wha?

The D has made interesting loadout choices and has not elected to receive any heat sinks to deal with it. Two medium heavy lasers, an LRM 15 and an ER large laser fill the D’s podspace. This is good as it marks the D as being, at least vaguely, the first Hellion that doesn’t have to go too hard in the paint to get the most out of it.

A running alpha strike will send the D up 13 heat which is not great, but the D doesn’t have to fire everything. The ER large laser and LRM are happy to chip in on the approach, keeping the mech down one on the scale on the approach. This allows for pretty alright damage while you close in while probably not seeming nearly as threatening as half the other stuff in your list. Then, once you get in close, you drop the ER large laser and add in the medium heavy lasers, at a run this puts you up one heat which is acceptable enough. Unfortunately it is not 1,761 BV acceptable. There are light hunters that cost far less than this that would have a perfectly fine time chasing it down and gutting it like a fish while it cannot reasonably hit them back.

Liberty’s Rating: D+. There’s definitely mediums that do this for the same or lower price while also packing in armor.

E

Infantry man has been here…

This loadout is dumb… At least its cheap! Well, for a Hellion at least. Two medium heavy lasers. Two AP gauss rifles. One SRM 4. Four Flamers. One ECM suite. Five Jump Jets. A ton of ammo for each set of guns.

1,292 BV.

I… it’s the cheapest one, that buys it something I suppose. But it’s still expensive as hell and now it can’t go hard in on attempting to just turn something inside out before it dies. If you alpha strike after a run, and it wants to because it’s really feelin’ like it’s all short range all the time here in Hellion hell world, you’re going up 13 heat. Would absolutely obliterate an infantry group though if your local group sees play with those a lot!

Liberty’s Rating: D. Cheapest or not it’s still just kinda a ‘meh’ use of the price.

F

Please, sire, may I have some sensible design choices?

An ER large laser, an ER medium laser, two AP gauss rifles, an SRM 6 and an ER Flamer, for some fucking reason, accompany the active probe that fills this, presumably, scout variant’s pod space. For this you pay 1,594 BV. It’s… It’s something, I guess? It can fire off the ER large laser and ER medium laser at range with relative effect on target and no heat build which is helpful.

At short range you can toss in everything short of the ER large laser and be down on heat which is an alright use for this mech but it really is just a shame it costs as much as it does. If you alpha on a run you’re going up 9 heat which could be worse but at 1,594 the F just feels underwhelming. This wants to chip at stuff on the way in before trying to exploit any openings with its amassed many tiny shitter guns but it really feels like it doesn’t have enough oomph in it to get it done all the way.

Liberty’s Rating: D+. It’s got a plan, it just isn’t particularly cost effective at the plan. 

G

Is that a fucking microwave on your arm? Why are you pointing that at me? I’m not a pot-pie… Why is my ‘mech shutting down? You’re an asshole, you know that? Asshole.

I’m going to preface this with the fact that the G costs 1,614 BV and will make you a terrorist if you use it. The G has taken the available pod space and filled it with a trio of improved heavy medium lasers, an LRM-10 with one ton of ammo and a one shot TSEMP cannon.

This is nearly a very cool loadout and something that I think really fits the Hellions vibe, I just wish the space and weight wasn’t wasted on the TSEMP(OS) and instead bought a few heat sinks to make it heat neutral. It’d be cheaper, it’d be more effective and it wouldn’t actively make your opponent annoyed at you when it actually manages to work.

I hate TSEMPs enough to have gone and checked what the corrected version of this would cost. It’s 1,402 BV and it makes it have NO heat problems as it over-sinks it to 30 dissipated with a max of 27 generated. This would be a Hellion that would be worth taking. That mythical version of the Hellion would be both fun, worth the cost and fitting for the Hellions MO, but we can’t have nice things around here.

ALSO TSEMP(OS)’S FUCKING EXPLODE, APPARENTLY?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Liberty’s Rating: D. IDK WHO RUINED THE CLOSEST WE’VE BEEN TO A SOLID C VARIANT BUT I JUST WANT TO TALK TO THEM; I PROMISE I JUST WANT TO TALK TO THEM.

P

DISCO! DISCO! DISCO FEVER!!!

The Ice Hellions were smokin’ some that good good Nova Cat pack in 3124 and went hard in the paint on the blinky laser light show. The P has used its pod space in the funniest way we’ve seen yet by mounting up three improved heavy medium lasers, four ER micro lasers, a TAG, a supercharger to get you up to 18 on the run, an extra heat sink and an ECM Suite. Pretty close to the fun loadout of a not-fucked G!

Oh, hey, I missed something…

EIGHT MICRO PULSE LASERS.

This thing is funny as shit. I’ve used it before to try and bushwhack assault ‘mechs and it can do it pretty well if you get it in the right spot in their rear arc. It’s going to get hot doing it but it’s only so much worse than the other variants we’ve seen and I’m willing to give it the benefit of the doubt after seeing what it can do on a few occasions.

The 11 double heat sinks are very much so losing the battle of the heated plains here with a running alpha strike sending the P up 13 heat making you a 5/8(10/13). This is still enough movement to dip right back out to try and get away from what you just pissed off if you hold back on the throttle on the way in.

For all this gun and speed you’re paying 1,685 BV which is heading over top of the Hellion bell curve but it also stands as being a funny spot of having a good concentration of can opener and crit seeking that isn’t usually seen outside of bigger mechs with a high concentration of SRMs, and that accuracy bonus buys some goodwill since it means you’ll be doing pretty well without the gunnery increase.

Liberty’s Rating: C-. Still very expensive but it also stands as the apex of doing that which hellions wish to do, stabbing kidneys and going faster’n all hell. 

T

It is just now occurring to me that we haven’t seen any medium pulse lasers this whole time. Ope! Here they are!

The T carries in three medium pulse lasers, an LRM 10, an ER smale laser and three improved one shot streak SRM-2s. This is a loadout that actually has an alright place in the light hunting sphere as clan medium pulses are very good at that job!

Unfortunately it costs 1,637 and, while good, I don’t think I’d put this thing at the same level as a Wraith TR1 that costs 350 BV less and can jump 7 while having better armor. Being fair to the T this is a rec-guide variant and, as such, is a WYSIWYG to match the art in the book. This is, unfortunately, the reason it does not get to have any ammo for the streaks which kinda keeps it from standing out from things like the Wraith or other light hunters.

Liberty’s Rating: D. There are several things that do both the light hunter and bushwhacking roles better. Shit there’s a better bushwhacker for nearly the same price right above this thing. 

Conclusion

The Hellion has one really big problem that makes me terribly sad and that’s its cost. Almost all of these loadouts are funny as hell and it is genuinely unfortunate that the limiting factor of cost will keep me from feeling like I should really ever be fielding them in most games.

This in mind there are a lot of funny Hellions and if you want to field them my personal suggestion would be to use the P or the B as they seem funny as all hell and at the very least should give you good smiles per mile on their use if you’re not super concerned about the price.

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