The Swelter Bowl II at the Goonhammer Open Baltimore 2024

Hello there sports fans! In a mere five days, we at Goonhammer are running our second-ever Blood Bowl tournament at the GHO 2024 near Baltimore, Maryland! Dan’s here to fill you in on what’s happening, what to expect, and how to beat the heat!

It’s been a while, sports fans, but I’m back to drum up a little more interest in the Swelter Bowl II, Maryland’s premiere weather-themed Blood Bowl tournament. Last year was a ton of fun, and I’m thrilled to bring it back again. So grab a bushel of Blue Crabs and a case of Natty Bohs and meet me by BWI!

Hope you like balls. And Chains. Credit: me.

The Deets

Download the packet here!

What: A 3-round Blood Bowl tournament with a twist!

When: July 6th, 2024

Where: The Sheraton BWI – 1100 Old Elkridge Landing Rd, Linthicum Heights, MD 21090

Who: Up to 20 of Blood Bowl’s sweatiest coaches.

Tournament Schedule

  • 8:30 AM – 9:30 AM: Registration
  • 9:30 AM – 12:00 PM: Round 1
  • 12:00 PM – 1:00 PM: Lunch
  • 1:00 PM – 3:30 PM: Round 2
  • 3:30 PM – 6:00 PM: Round 3
  • 6:15ish PM: Awards

What Makes the Swelter Bowl Special?

Simply put: the heat. The sweltering heat! It’s July in the mid-Atlantic, and if you’re a stranger to these parts, know that it is perpetually both hot and humid. What better way to express that on the Blood Bowl pitch than by setting every game in Sweltering Heat and locking the format so it never changes? In fact, when the weather does change, it just gets hotter! Players are collapsing all over the field. The water goblins struggle to keep their teams hydrated. I’d say it’s chaos, but the Chaos teams are feeling it, too!

When approached to run this event last year, I knew I wanted to give this event a try. Nacy Poxleitner of the Dulles Underground Blood Bowl League (DUBBL) had spoken about this idea with me at NOVA Open, and I quickly secured her blessing to give this event a go. I think it’s an interesting and fun take on the Blood Bowl tournament packet gimmick. Your team is going to be constantly short-handed, and you’ll have to navigate the challenge of scoring points between your best players’ bouts of heat exhaustion! I’ve given coaches a little extra cash to mitigate this: Teams start at 1200 TV instead of the broadly used standard of 1100 TV. But be careful! It might be tempting to use that extra cash on flashy Star Players, but who’s to say they’ll stay on the pitch?

Finally, losing players to the heat might actually end up being a good thing! I’m asking coaches to track how many players they lose to Sweltering Heat and the newly introduced “It’s Getting Hotter…” rule (a bespoke rule for this event) and the coach that loses the most player value to the weather will get a special prize! So if you’re having an extremely unlucky day, you might go home with a custom trophy!

I probably didn’t even score here. Credit: me.

Dan’s Advice for Beating the Heat

  • The first thing you want to do is include a couple of extra players in your roster. There are going to be drives where you are down 2d3 players, not counting KOs and Casualties! If you roll up with 11 or 12 players on the roster, you might be walking into trouble. 
  • Next, try not to stack all of those eggs in one basket. Throwing multiple skills on one player might be sound in other tournaments, but at the Swelter Bowl, they’re gonna pass out and you’ll be down your best player.
  • While normally I advocate for skipping it, maybe consider an apothecary this time around! The apothecary really only works like 60% of the time, which to me makes it untenable in most tournaments. But at the swelter bowl, that 60% might loom large if it keeps an important player on the field.
  • Keep the pricey stars on the shelf. A 1200 TV tournament is usually packed with the best Star Players the game has to offer. But at the Swelter Bowl, that expensive star might just be passed out on the field for a critical drive. As said by the great GZA, diversify.

Final Thoughts

Hey, you. Come play Blood Bowl. It’ll be fun, I promise. As of writing, there’s only 5 spots left, so quit messin’ around. Sure the event’s located at a hotel right off America’s Worst Road, the Baltimore-Washington Parkway. Sure the event’s conveniently located next to the region’s 3rd-best airport (out of 3). None of that matters. Just lace up those spikes and get out on the field. You won’t regret it. Also, do me a favor and sell out the event. Don’t make me be the ringer. I’m going to bring the most annoying team I can think up if I have to ring.

This is how I roll (badly). Credit: me.

Last year I got yelled at for telling people I was going to bring warm Natty Bohs for participants. So this year I’m not going to say that. I’m not saying it at all.

I’ll see you on Saturday!

If we’ve convinced you, go here to sign up for the Swelter Bowl II. Happy blocking, sports fans!

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